There is nothing wrong with you

31/5/2009

(Already?)

math exam.

Feels: slightly embarrassed that she did not notice the exam-setter's mistake on the question, also tried to be a smart arse and perfect squared the equation

Is: a disgrace to the entire Singapore education system

Thus: will wallow in a hole of utter despair

Huzzah.

FINALLY

I have changed the timezone for the blog.

Yeah, well, have you done anything constructive today?

A continued train of thought.

...HAHA exams.

I walked into the function room, I'm sorry, I mean the exam hall and I see plush chairs.

Okay, not plush chairs. But there is actual plush like material on the chair, velvet red and soft.

Then during the exams, there is a supply of tissues. And water. They pour you water from a jug into plastic cups. You just raise your hand and the teacher plays the dual role of examining magistrate/ part time world weary waiter. ("Still or sparkling?")

And I'm laughing, inside, on the outside I'm just grinning weirdly at nothing. It's just, do you guys remember our 'O' level exam rooms? Candy colored walls(dusted lightly with grime), cement floors and kopitiam chairs from the 80's. There was a certain period of time when we weren't allowed to bring in our bottles,

That was just...oh wow, that was about 8 months ago already. Almost an entire year.

Nostalgia hits at the weirdest of moments.

Also, I'm getting wary of people asking me how the chinese test went. Social conventions dictate that I should probably moan about how difficult it was when really a more accurate response would be "hahahahaha". At the moment I compromise by going "Do you really want to know?", smiling mysteriously(as I possibly can) and then tip toeing away.

Next semester,I'm taking Legal Studies.

EDIT/
May the internet never cease to amuse

"I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen — I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.
I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it." She stopped, out of breath.- Sam, American Gods

I like judging you. Really I do.

I construct a whole long complicated domino maze (in my head, complete with whirring devices of 'What if' windmills and hypothetical extreme dead ends.Like mini golf,really, with possibilities ) of reactions and then I wait.

Sometimes they fall.

Then, I act wonderfully surprised that they do.

HAHA EXAMS.

Another Friday, another strange strange conversation which I participate in all the while feeling weirdly detached and very there.

This time, I'm vaguely talking about getting hazed, as if I know what I'm talking about anyway.

These days has been dazzling dazzling sunshine, early evenings and stupidly walking under the stars (because I could but really shouldn't)

There is a tree nearby which has sap oozing out of it. I think it could be amber. Give or take another 1000 years.

Tomorrow, there will be theatre fun and filming!

I forgot who introduced e.e cummings to me.

Poetry has always been so obscure and difficult to understand because it's always up for interpretation but then there are always those interpretations that earn somewhat contemptuous stares.

Then sometimes, it's just easier to be lost in the cadence of words.

Lovely lovely clouds.

hey, let me type a block of text it seems like i haven't done that in ages.

school is exhausting. i am currently pretending everything is a figment of my imagination because it's easier to deal that way.

i have a pretty good imagination.

it seems so strange to float through the school and see people and talk to them and laugh and respond. somehow they don't seem solid to me. what's that word again?

right, transient. everything, everyone feels transient.

wish i had time to put all this into pretty little cryptic descriptions and witty repertoires (something that i am always sorely lacking it seems) but hey no capslock in sight.[revolutionary]

oh oh and i think i look distressed very well. i wonder if the teachers get annoyed and if it's alright to screw with them this way.

today was alright, tomorrow may be better(well it's sun shiny anyway).

i haz greener grass. tis true.

You forget it in people

credits: sxc.hu, my life

Brb, bbs the noise inside is getting a little too much.