Three times it happens.

I throw my arms around a friend I have known for ages (as I have learnt to be freeer with hugs) only to have them blink once,twice, look down at her mobile and then gasp "omg,i couldn't recognise you!"

Then, I spot the same bangs, different manicure at Junction 8. I utter her full name only, for a split second, to be regarded as a weird stalker.

The best part is when I wake up in my grandparent's small apartment to a barely awake cousin whom i have known for my entire life, who blearily asks "so, who are you?"

I don't blame them because I can barely recognize myself in photos now. It's weird because I can't seem to pinpoint the moment I did change. When i put on a surprising 5kg, when I decided to keep my hair long for the first time ever?

So, aesthetically, I am apparently completely different now. I am not so sure about the hardware though sometimes the change inside feels stagnated.

I think for many 2009 has been an eventful year, although truth to be told every year is pretty much a series of incidents which make up events which in turn define the year. I read reflections of friends, strangers, of huge publishing entities and placards of homeless people. Everyone has had their revelations, of learning new things, of changing for the better or the worst.

And again like most years, 2009 has flown by. Sometimes I struggle to remember what exactly has transpired through the year and when. Suddenly, I have new friends, new smells to grow accustomed to and new expierences which I now wear with weariness and just that bit of pride.

2009 has been a year of too much nostalgia clashing with a bullet train chug of the new. It has been jarring and exhausting and so so noisy inside.

I am glad to shrug off the year in exchange for a new one. Like my wallet it was too full of old receipts, cards i'll never use again and old calenders.

This is to 2010 which comes to us once again in rocket skates with angel wings.

May it bring to everyone hope, happiness and just that bit more of love.

*is totally hippie now*

BRING IT ON.

There are many ways to say this but...

Fuck yeah, Singapore!:D

Designing skills are rusty but managed.

We all need change.

SINGAPORE TOMORROW.

I'll find out just how much I've missed humidity and free wi-fi. That is ofourse, all material, I know I've missed people most of all. With Stephanie just leaving, a void has already formed and I'm just thankful its not all consuming.

Very effectively languishing at the moment. There can't of a more appropriate word for lazing around thinking and occasionally agonizing in a quagmire of alternating self-pity and well, boredom.

I need things to do. I have things to do but somehow I'm putting it all below me (will come and bite me back in the end, just wait.) It is weird that somehow the people I've met here fill me with a sort of wary anxiety yet at the same time I know they are just human and a really lovely bunch of carnations. There has never been a time when people have confused me more making a simple task such as 'i want to go out for a movie' into an imagine full-scaled disaster which would end in a collapsed building and several funerals (okay, no, i'm just afraid that people would rather have stayed home then come out)

It' mad and crazy and I wish I could feel comfortable enough to be spontaneous again.

Christmas in the tropics. YES.

Summer is official and to compliment all things Stephanie has arrived from Singapore and i'm trying to show her whatever Melbourne has to offer. So far we've stalked the city, visited Melbourne's answer to Junction 8 and watched a funny indie french film[French Kissers] in an indie cinema tucked between rows of italian restaurant.

So, we're having a lime and grabbing a couple of sunglasses to bask in the sun. Trying not to think about next year or the piles upon piles of paper on my table for next week we go see kangaroos and other various marsupials.

By all accounts, watching Twilight is the cinematic equivalent of seeing a turnip shaped like the Virgin Mary: a miracle for the devoted, a punchline for everyone else.-AV Club,I watched this on purpose

Ha.Exactly.

Did everyone know it's the End of the Aughts. Wait, did everyone know that we name our decades? Because I didn't. Naming things give them Purpose. And now I am left with this screwy feeling that we are closing something Very Important.

Yes, well, hi it's the holidays. There is much to do and I'll go do them now and return at more appropriate time to reveal more things about Life and all who inhabit it.

Movieswise
A Single Man

February 2010.

Looks amazing, the trailer has me at the first tick.


Nicholas Hoult and Lee Pace are both in this,further justifying any reason to see this.

That does not look like Colin Firth for he is looking...less family comedy friendly in a long time.

Schoolwise

School is ending, finishing up exams. Exams do not, as a rule, carry the same thrill as they used to back in Singapore.

Case in Point: Feeling bored at the 2 1/2hr point in a 3hr English exam, I sit back and let myself be quietly impressed with my ability to be both pretentious and logic making.

Yes, I am also beginning to wonder how hard it might be to say good bye to people and if they'll at all remember me /ego


Sunshinewise

The word sun gets thrown around here so often, but only because ITS EVERYWHERE.

I like it though. Legitimate excuse to actually use words like 'languidly' and 'lazily' they way they should be. That is, lying around on grass and sleeping.

Whatiamdoingnowwise

Silly neurotic moths softly humming against my window. I have light, that is true. It is also true that I have a fly netting mesh so they can't get in. Ha.

Have math in front of me, eyes drooping, headache. Want to actually remove comforter but can't quite figure out how to get it out from blanket cover.

Wearing short sleeves in a long time.

Moths are actually flies, explains the buzzing.

OhBeverlyistrendywise

No one uses the word trendy anymore do they.

Anyways, I can't get a twitter for data usage here is crazy expensive and have gut feeling nobody wants to listen to 120 characters of me being disgruntled. Like the world needs another teenager right?

www.glowbracelets.tumblr.com

But I did get a tumblr because I like the idea of reposting things from other people's blog with the click of a button. Saves copying and pasting and time and money. It is also social evolution and I like being part of any evolution even if it doesn't involve pikachu:D

Also place where I can be properly 17 like the rest of you and pretend to be cryptic and moan about maybe existent teen angst (you'll never find me admitting to it.NEVER!)

Otherwise

Buzzing of flies are my lullaby.

I don't talk about Moonshine enough, it is quite nice really.

And this is media class

I made my first ever film guys. Wish it were amazingly clever and witty with earth shattering revelations but it's not really. I'm just happy that I managed to film/edit/make music sync together and put it on disc.




From Youtube description:
"There is nothing to writing, all you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."-Ernest Hemingway

Just how much do you love/loathe the auto save function on Microsoft word and wouldn't you rather indulge in someone else's anguish over unsaved work for a change?

Melding stateliness with a desperate effort to be funny, there are a lot of ways in which a first 'serious' film attempt can be done wrong. This is just one of them.
Enjoy!

Pre Production time:2 weeks
Production Time: 14 Hours
Editing: 10 hours
Worrying about ever completing the film: Throughout the entire process
Bitching about the editing program:15 hours
Satisfaction about completed Product: Now-?

Music(by order):
Exploration-Coraline OST
Si Tu N'Etais Pas La-Amelie OST
Victor Narrowmore-Pushing Daisies OST
Unstoppable-E. S. Posthumus
The Final Countdown-Europe
Pas Si Simple-Amelie OST

Dear Sunshine,

How do you suppose I'm going to get ANY work done if you keep dappling the tree outside my room with GOLD.

Screw you.

Love,
Bev

weird dreams lately. changing landscapes, hiding and running, lots of running.

there are people too, old ones who i wave to and want to talk to but never do and new ones who are not quite as i know or imagine them to be.

i remember them too, but mostly in fragments. don't actually know if i want to remember.

disorientation.

The sky is the precise reflection of the Late Sunset gradient background option in Powerpoint.

It is ironic for a person who is so inept at small talk to be obsessed with the weather (18 degrees and raining tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day after tomorrow's tomorrow.)

charlie: You guys do realise that candy mountain isn't real.
friends: Shun the non-believer. SHUN! shuuuunnnnahhhhh.

In Short: Loved it. Now excuse me while i relive the film through the soundtrack.

"500 Days of summer", I say a little too happily

For a beat, my temporary enthusiasm is considered and judged a sane one.

"Isn't that a rom-com?" he says, with a little distaste and unmistakable trepidation (boys pfftt)

"No," I am a indignant while someone else chimes in "Yes."

I shoot her a look. "But," she amended, " it has a sad ending."

For all my acquired elitist sensibilities against romantic comedies, there is no way around it. 500 Days of Summer is a romantic comedy although it very cleverly twists the genre. In fact, the entire movie is just that:endlessly clever and delightful.

If I write a proper review, I will run out of synonyms for charming by the second sentence. Let's just do a roll call of adjectives shall we? Quirky, Offbeat, Whimsical, Adorable, Slightly Eccentric, Refreshing, Hey Original surprised you're here, Satirical turns up late but it's been trying.

The premise of the film, unrequited love is not a new one but I don't think it has ever been this doused in sepia toned nostalgia. By that I mean, the movie flounces taking you on a figurative frolicking under summer sunshine.

From the casting of Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel to the calculated whimsy of a happy jig down the streets complete with a colour coordinated marching band and animated disney birds, there is no denying that is effusively charming. Even (help us all.) the swearing is precocious.

I loved the film, really I did.

I loved how it's not rom com aimed specifically at me but volleys it primarily to the other gender as well. I liked how the dialogue treaded on the thin line between saccharine sweetness and saving itself with precise randomness [ "Honey,I don't know how to tell you this but there is a chinese family in our kitchen] and the soundtrack isn't going anywhere off my Ipod anytime soon. I appreciated how various film techniques, non-linear story lines, animation, stop motion were all incorporated without seeming too gimmicky.

At the same time, there was something lacking. It was perceptive on it's take on the most difficult aspect of modern love, defining it [although, i will not claim to know anything of romance] and the non-linear retelling of the relationship through 500 days is genius, analogical to hapaharzadly flipping through old photo books.

The film breezes tripping only slightly because there wasn't gravity to the film to hold all the fluff together. It's deconstruction on the themes of unrequited love, disillusionment of youth , moving on, taking hold of destiny was done too briefly with too little depth. The culmination of these themes was also done in a disappointing manner with the lead taking an easy pot shot at how greeting cards were creating fairy tales for us to believe in and a supposedly epic storming out of an office

It also suffers from what I like to think of as Garden State syndrome whereby the ending just fails miserably in contrast to the rest of the movie. There is no definable climax or a clever, dead pan anti-climax. Sure, leave the movie open but there must be some sort of stylistic closure like flourishing a doodle with your signature.

POLAROIDS:D BETTER THAN I COULD HAVE EVER DREAMED.

and i dream a lot.

Room not clean, Biology notes not done, unbalanced psyche, need to exercise, too much rain.

Life is long,messy and unmanageable. Like my hair.

I have mysteriously acquired a iPod touch. Its quite fun to leave finger imprints and slide through the high techy diginess of it all.

*fetish*

Now, to shatter its very core and soul for my own manipulative purposes (third party applications yey! )

Night all:D

the photo. oh, it's part of this amazing project by this girl

*wants polaroid camera now*

haha, I did actually win the bid :S I might have over paid?

I don't know, is $20 more that you imagined an okay price for not going through every thrift store for a working polaroid camera?

The part I'm excited about are the filters.

No idea how this will work but with Spring around the corner I think sunlight will compensate for any misgivings a camera with a warranty that expired in 1979 might have.

And I have to get film too. Hmm. It's good that I'm working now, I'll never be able to afford all this on pocket money that I have.

Only problem is that I am never able to spend money. I just watch things online get bought and feel a wrench in my heart when I think of what could have been mine.

But isn't.

First attested 1817 in English, the word "kaleidoscope" derives from the Greek καλός (kalos), "beautiful"^[1] + είδος (eidos), "shape"^[2] + σκοπέω (scopeο), "to look at, to examine"^[3][4] : "looking at beautiful forms".

They'll ask (like she did) how does being 17 feel like.

She could say:

"It's a lull year, no one at 6 dreams to be just 17. That's the potential though, there is little preconceived notion of what being 17 is like. Something may happen currently beyond the realms of my imagination, something. Like how Charles Darwin theory of evolution can't explain everything and that it is a failure of our imagination to think in infinite terms rather then the theory itself.

I'm all tingly inside. It's a weird feeling of time running out mixed with running full force towards an edge that you think is going to come but never really does until you least expect it."

or

"Haha, I thought I would have a driver's license, a cool boyfriend and boobs by this time."


or

"Did you know a butterfly's wings are held up by a network of blood veins? Those thin leathery things, containing capillaries and analogous aortas. That's a heart vulnerable to all elements.

Shit, now I feel so guilty that I pulled off wings when I was younger just to see if they could stay alive."


But instead, she will shake thoughts from her head, clearing cobwebs and let them float lazily, insubstantial almost out of reach like daffodil fluffs, smile.

"Two words.Glow bracelets. "


Happy Birthday to all 7th September babies and a very Happy Unbirthday to everyone else.

Just because it's monday doesn't mean you can't have cake.

In which there is more *girly* conversation
"He asked me out"

"Oh. Wait. OH! Really. Wow, so you have boyfriend now?"

A smile, some nodding.

My interest is caught .

"Wow, okay. Cool. Wait, does this mean that everyone I know here has dated already?"

Sympathetic considering looks.

"Seriously."

Frivolous Epiphany

"So, this is what the schools meant by peer pressure."

"You should get one!"

And then any interest in the subject dissipates like the sublimation of ammonium chloride.

In which the tenth tic tac toe games in a row is the charm



i don't know, why does simple strategic truths elude me so?

In which I am thankful and apprehensive

17 on Monday,I'm cherishing my last few moments of being 16.

As far as I'm concerned, 16 was sweet in all the unexpected ways. It encompassed an end and a new beginning. I miss old friends and now tentatively reaching out to new ones who have been no less than fantastic (one day I will post a vague but interesting bio on them and on you guys so that I don't forget how I know you now).

Moving to a new country is scary. Yeah. It's 5-year-old scary form a jaded teen point of view which makes it much worse. Self consciousness is amplified to the point of being just grotesque. Although, you learn and relearn things you thought you always knew but needed a new perspective to see how the lesson has changed to suit your growth. Like judging a book by its cover or trusting others or more importantly trusting yourself and to stop second-guessing your own decisions.

Everyone's growing up. I will be wishing for wisdom this year.

House: The universe always settles the score.
Cuddy: Does it?
House: No, but it should.

Haha, house.

Really want a polaroid camera because photoshop effects do not cut it anymore. Envisioning a wall of polaroids all yellowing like the senance of leaves in autumn (because i will purposely put it near the sun for it to decolourise)

Delving into murky marshes of Ebay bidding, no idea how this works. I am panicking now because I bid on three polaroid cameras and if i win all of them i will have to pay $90 or risk, gasp, being black listed.

SX-70 land camera seems to be the way to go, what with funky filters and everything so I'm staking this one out.

I will wait till the wee hours 6 days later and then max out my bid.

I have the most brilliant plans.

G'day.

今天天气真好，阳光像一支支细小的金箭从天边射下来。
(still got it ;D)

It's Spring.

For the first time, everyone is deliriously happy.

The weather really is everything.

"Loan me fifty lire."

I dried my hands and took out my pocket-book from the inside of my tunic hanging on the wall. Rinaldi took the note, folded it without rising from the bed and slid it in his breeches pocket. He smiled, "I must make on Miss Barkley the impression of a man of sufficient wealth. You are my great and good friend and financial protector."

"Go to hell," I said.

-A Farewell to Arms
by Ernest Hemingway

*giggles*

still tired but amused

Let the wild rumpus start!



There needs to be a study done to get some statistics about why this trailer gets to people. The wolf suit most definitely and the song.Oh my god the song the song the song. It feels like oh I don't know, remembering and reliving the first time you tasted candy and then how it never really tastes the same after that. It's the bitter-sweet child of a threesome between nostalgia, melancholy and pure awesomeness.

And I watched Coraline a while back. Getting it out of the way:The book was better. But the film was still amazing and for the lack of a better word wondrous. Surprisingly creepy at parts, twisting all traditional fairy tale rules (Rule of 3) but still echoing traces of early fantasy.

I've decided I like performing mice and yellow boots.

woah, tired.

Mother (mummy,mum,mom,mam) is peering curiously through the silts in the blinds of our living room window.

"Where," she asks suddenly,"did all those flowers come from?"

For a moment, all activity ceases to steal furtive look across the street, registering the pink orange summer colours lining our neighbour's drive way.

"Landscaping," says Father (daddy,dad,dude) finally.

Half remembering."They called in garden landscapers yersterday."

"Oh."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"It smells like Australia again." I mention casually because the window is open and it's drafty but the sunlight finds us and we can almost forget that there isn't a heater in this room and that the florescent lighting wasn't once again diluting any fun we would try to have.

"Really? Australia has a smell?"

"Yeah, it's like when you just step out of the airport, it hits you, scent of Australia..." I wave my hands around a little, expecting somehow, mutual understanding.

Brows furrow. "Really. What does Singapore smell like then?"

like burning asphalt ground and unwilling congealed sweat, like milk tea at 3am in the morning without getting bashed if you felt like it although i hated milk tea, like too sweet kaya toast and plastic a very persistent scent of artifice, like surly clouds and heavy thunderstorms,
like home (is, was, still, perhaps, forgotten)

"Like heat," i say inconsequentially, "humid." Colourless answers.

He is unimpressed. So am I.

Australia smells like bottled sunshine.

The cherry blossoms are already fading.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am still surprised when people use my name. In my head I am a constant 'you' or 'i'. Like absurd narcissistic love songs to myself.

Beverley, Beverly, Bev.

What belongs to you yet others use more than you do?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a bloody beautiful day.

"It's so pretty." I exhale under my breathe.

There has to be a million more adequate words metaphors similes to describe to my surprise, the sakuras blossoms that have sprung up on trees that I hadn't even realised were sakura trees.

Now that I know though, I won't be able to unsee them like those oddly fustrating optical illusions. I'll be hoping for them to bloom, sooner, faster and in greater varieties of pink.

Transitional period between winter and spring which means scattered blossoms, rebirth and rain.

The air smells, perpetually, like early morning dew drops.

Throbbing lights, irregular bopping to music (tentatively termed dancing). a million hugs and surprisingly good food.

OMGZ FORMAL.

And I'm dead beat while "my locks come tumbling down in curls"[sister's words not mine]

Update at a more earthly hour:D

A whirlwind open day at Monash University with a substantial amount of papercuts acquired from phamplet after booklet, but i think I have found a calling although still in its embroynic stages.

I want to do law.

And I just noticed it's August.

HOMG that's 8 months since I've been here, 8 months of knowing new people or does time make them not newish any more?

I love new people but I also love comfortable silences and minimal amount of second guessing.

Wishing that i can recall where that bridging point is because the "you'll just know" shtick is not cutting it for me.(or maybe, the reason I can't remember is because you don't store 'you'll just know' moments thereby creating the necessities for them.)

:/

Time flies flies flies

Happy 2nd of August everyone and may it be as magical as the 3rd.

Letsbecrypticwise!

a rough patchwork of stolen witticism, Oscar Wilde quotes and word of mouth music.an odd tapestry of borrowed thoughts, an embroidery of all people known ( and will ever get to know) and somehow. Because to be one original thing is the holy grail of existence and we all know how hard the search for that has turned out.

a pack rat by nature (look under the bed), even more difficult to clear up intangible debris to find who we are.

bits and pieces of the truth woven into the best type of lie there is : a true lie.

Schoolwise

I haz formal, why is this more trouble than I remembered?

Being told that I am not Second Language Chinese Advance material makes me v. sad and also wondering just exactly what I've learnt in 6 years of higher Chinese.

I don't know if I'm interested in the school, to represent it or invest time in it's name. On one hand, the homework is always on time and shirt always tucked in and on the other, well, it is hard to find passion for anything else let alone school.

I take a long time making dull water coloured decision that by the time I do, most of them don't matter anymore.

Gah!

Lifewise

I have no idea why but sometimes my presence simply fades into an odd grin and an occasional strangled giggle. It's like I have forgotten how to communicate or is this because I've never really learnt how. The power of awkwardness is over whelming and surprisingly ticklish.

Where is the line between being self reflective and narcissism and when do you know you've crossed it?

OKAYMOVINGONWISE

dying for an idea is stupid. you can't touch an idea, or talk to it or kiss it. i always thought i would much rather die for me, one thing that will always be our own. or for someone else, because to invest that much passion in a realm outside our own mind must be worth something, anything.

and yet it is the ideas that go on, beyond the person who lie wayside and forgotten. do you know who invented the concept of lunch break? no? neither do i. but every time the bell rings at 1.20, it's salvation.

ideasideasideas.

Tumblr is cool.

Lets go get one!

Gah! I love economics class.

Also beginning to collect quotes again, I've realised I cannot afford not to.

Good Morning! I'm finally getting out of bed:D

I haven't been blogging so that I could use that image as an excuse.

*is guiltless*

Monday, March 9, 2009
-m4w -28
You had a guitar. I had a blue hat. We exchanged glances and smiles on the subway platform. I pretended to read my New Yorker but I couldn't concentrate. You got on the Q and I stayed on to wait for the B. You were lovely.
taken from sophie blackall

I would like a light blue fedora.

(everything seems to happen in nyc)

There are a lot of things I do which I do not actually enjoy, have no idea why I'm doing them and quite a bit of it unnecessary. It creates strange strange perceptions of me that I'm not entirely sure are accurate but many which are amusing (in my head, because I am selfishly convinced
that no one will understand *omgtears*, but of course there are people who understand because hasn't countless adolescent identified with Sylvia Plath and then looked back and admit to only liking her, ironically, for they are too embarrassed to be associated with such melodrama...and I have to stop doing this retrospective thinking thing, I can't believe I'm nostalgic for a now that isn't even over yet. )

(parentheses abuse!).
()()
(-_-)
c((")(")


It takes a certain something to not give a shit about anything and maintain the consistency. I have developed a certain admiration for that.

Hello world, stop screwing with me so that I can stop screwing with you because I will look at everything you deal to me in a billion angles and then self combust from the effort.

(haha, there will be a time when i look back and wonder when any of this made sense because i doubt nothing else but a convoluted, screwed up over-active thinking of a teenage girl's mind can ever ever comprehend why all this was relevant.)

(damn it i have to stop retrospecting)

I will have to back to school next week.

and deal with grey stockings, too tight ties and people.

*dull*

<3

LOL.

Michael Bay and his CGI Academy Award thank you.

Seriously, I have no idea what I'm missing. All I know is that this year's summer movie palette is lackluster(srsly, Year 1?) and I wish Up or Coraline was showing.

Now, to shanghai someone to watch Coco avant Chanel(audrey tautou <3) with me.

Easier said than done.

‘I used to always get embarrassed in interviews,’ she says, ‘when people asked me what my hobbies are, because I have none. But recently I realise that I do: taking dead pictures of myself. Other than that I have no hobbies.’

‘Being awesome,’ Neil Gaiman suggests. The crowd cheers.

‘Being awesome,’ says Amanda Palmer, ‘is not a hobby. It’s a way of life.’- Quotes rearranged into prose from singstotrains

I think I need new books but I'm too lazy to browse through the shelves in the local library and can't quite be bothered to figure how the book search function works.

It has been a quiet week so far.

I've landed my first ever 'real' job at a costume shop, something which I enjoy telling people.

People:Where do you work?

Me: [happily] At a costume shop!

But only because it goes with all sorts of whimsical nonsense of pretend and dress up. Which I am of course obligated to do, secretly, in the store room, trying on random wigs and wondering whether I would ever dare to go blonde.

The store room is I suppose, exactly as I imagine it would be. Creepy mannequins that stare contemptuously down at you during the day in nothing but their strange smooth body ("You don't mind looking at lingerie do you?" I am asked quite seriously on my second day of work. I say 'no' and then kind of wish I hadn't because, really what would they they think of me now?). Then there are stacks and stacks of boxes that contain masks and wigs and you know, costumes. Sometimes, I am suppose to do stock taking. This is not fun.

The shop takes orders from all around the world. Which is why I found myself answering a phone call from Canada who wanted, quite desperately, to know why the masks for her wedding hadn't arrived yet.

I am not good with people. I know this now.

Apparently, I am not good with credit cards either because of the 5 cards I have tried to transact, 3 of them have been declined. The owner reassures me that it is because their card has gone over the limit "But we don't tell them that," he says cheerfully, "we tell them they have got their expiry date wrong!"

The owner is... Have I put through the theory that life imitates art much more often then the other way round? As it is, the owner is quite like Edna Mode, small, large glasses, fluent in English, German,Italian and Spanish. Also, he likes classical music, which I agree with. Then, he asks me which composers I like and I pull the usual culprits out of the bag (Beethoven, Mozart, Bach). In truth, I know this only because for most of my life, these are the only classical musicians that have been mentioned and were relentlessly indoctrinated during music class.

Nonetheless, I get the (almost word for word) what an unusual teenager I am speech and how no one ever listens to classical music anymore.

:/

However, I get away with playing Death Cab for the rest of the evening which he seems to enjoy at any rate. *shrugs*

So, this is my holidays. Working quietly at a costume shop, listening to music and thinking about getting new books at the library.

Oh my god, I'm going to turn into one of those cooler-then-thou indie teens and then the world will end in a great raging battle of good and evil with the plants winning and we'll all relocate to Mars only to discover that there are martians living there already.

And they hate us.

Then, we get vapourised.

Someone save me.

This has been a strange strange day :/

I think I'll go sleep it off.

Amidst the sadness/deaths

Party like it's 1999!

Spongebob ILU

Michael Jackson dead after cardiac arrest

Well, shit.

He's gone, can't believe he just cardiac arrested away out of existence just like that. Always thought he was a bit like the Queen and Lee Kwan Yew, never dying and just you know there, wonky plastic surgery and all.

We've all listened to Thriller at some point or attempted a poor mockery of the moonwalk.

R.I.P Michael Jackson you crazy King of Pop.

I can romanticize about being 16 all I want in my head but in the end it's still Fuck This...I'm Going To Hogwarts

Come on, together everyone,

Wingardium Leviosa

Swine flu is overrated you guys.

Come down here already and screw all you GP tests or or, *gasp* PW.

I'll show you impeccably dressed people and nice things you can't afford.

We'll have a blast, pinky swear!

Finding Melbourne, stumbling across and getting lost while scoring a couple of discount pretzels. Pictures and stories below.

Woke up at 8am on the first holiday Sunday morning and decided that it was A Good Day To Attend A Math Lecture At The Melbourne Museum.

Yeah, I have no idea what is wrong with me either.

It was good that my temporary lunacy was fueled by cheap train tickets to the city (usual $5.60 but $3.10 on Sundays and we have a AUD1=SGD1 atm so do the math). I do not need to be crazy and broke.

Math Lecture was fun:How to be a human calculator. Got tired a little of standing because it was packed(people are just as sane as I am) and left halfway.

Melbourne Mueseum is gorgeous.

Like the rest of they city, its the old jostling with the new. Can you not just breathe in the tweeness of the place?

Leaving the museum, satisfied in the knowledge that toasted crumpets cost $1 for 4 pieces in 1987, I headed for the pretty buildings. Because you know what they say, follow the northern red brick buildings. Might have been stars but then, stars are not architecture.

Fitzroy is this really artsy place where all the lookbook.nu members probably come from and come to salivate over vintage clothing at the like. At least that's what the internet says, my parents on the other hand were more on the side of "YOU WENT TO FITZROY.ALONE?!"

Apparently, it's a rough neighborhood. The mistake is duly noted.

The brick walls, the doors! All it needs is ivy, oh wait there is ivy creeping along.

When I'm alone, old people come to talk to me. I don't know why, but they do. This is why I know What Exactly Is Wrong With Young People Nowadays and Urban Gardening.

Multiculturalism, well and alive.

>

I followed a stylish lady down a quiet road, partly because I wanted to see if i could discreetly take a good picture of her blazer (which was awesome by the way).Then I stumbled across this.



Street Art at this scale stops you in your tracks, if only because you want to take a picture.

Apart from closing at 5pm, they are also closed on Sundays. Srsyly, miss late night shopping already.

Went out to get a dress for a formal, came back with a book. Story of my life.

Although, I can't be blamed, breathing in the musky scent of dust and sunlight it's impossible to not buy a book. It's like the scent of Buy a Book.

Various shops that sell lizard on hats, glamorized garbage and oddly enough, science apparatus.

Asked several people for directions back to station. Found a Prison, where Avenue Q was staged and $1 pretzels.No station though.

At least, not till 1/2 hour later. And yes, that is the cumilation of all the times I have taken public transport. A ticket each time.

So ,walking the city alone was liberating. It reminded me though how far I was away from Singapore because I have never walked Orchard Road without breaking into sweat much less walked several streets without air conditioning at any point in time.

I had many Thoughts, a mix of nostalgia for the past , apprehension for the future and anxiety for right now. I need less time to think because it all leads to brooding and general teenage ennui which is not entirely healthy.

Seeing a rainbow though (all seven colours, I think i have seen more rainbows 6 months here than in my entire life time), made me think about leprechauns,fairies and clovers.

And I realized that I'm not perfectly happy, not even close.

But I will just do with my state of near happiness and hope that the sun will shine tomorrow and that my toes will bloody stop freezing off.

Needs shoes.

*dies*

OH HAI EVERYONE. I have just managed to crawl out of the frozen tundra and will be blogging a lot more soon (no promises).

Its the holidays, winter in summer. We like to call it Swinter.

But some call it Wummer.

Winter in all it's icy glory.

I will now proceed to freeze my butt off till September or something.

Not Night[because having night fall at 4pm is not real,not right not quite night] : yet, here are the stars, thrown salt-casual, over the velvet sky

cold cold cold

the lettuce are springing (I know right, in the middle of WINTER? but there you go, they are springing up and being all "but that's what she said!")

my toes are kinda bluish. i think? maybe the fluorescent lighting, then again i never had much blood to begin with.

reliving msn conversations dictated by colored fonts and strange misplaced laughter(lol, really really?) . old friends, still awesome? check.

THBT i know more about lymphocytes than i should care too.

70/100 or perhaps, less than i should.

ambitious story writing is ambitious but...

PLOT: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG

namely because i don't have one.

the boredom, it clings, all wearisome like an old itchy sweater you are too lazy to take off.

a splinter of sunday afternoons it lasted for about an hour, glorious sunshine and rainbows, yes not rainbow, rainbows

and the world spins madly on

Winter in June.

HELLO AUSTRALIA WHERE THE PEOPLE(SADLY) DON'T WALK UPSIDE DOWN

Alice was wrong but still, I guess I will come to love you.

Someday:)

There is nothing wrong with you

31/5/2009

(Already?)

math exam.

Feels: slightly embarrassed that she did not notice the exam-setter's mistake on the question, also tried to be a smart arse and perfect squared the equation

Is: a disgrace to the entire Singapore education system

Thus: will wallow in a hole of utter despair

Huzzah.

FINALLY

I have changed the timezone for the blog.

Yeah, well, have you done anything constructive today?

A continued train of thought.

...HAHA exams.

I walked into the function room, I'm sorry, I mean the exam hall and I see plush chairs.

Okay, not plush chairs. But there is actual plush like material on the chair, velvet red and soft.

Then during the exams, there is a supply of tissues. And water. They pour you water from a jug into plastic cups. You just raise your hand and the teacher plays the dual role of examining magistrate/ part time world weary waiter. ("Still or sparkling?")

And I'm laughing, inside, on the outside I'm just grinning weirdly at nothing. It's just, do you guys remember our 'O' level exam rooms? Candy colored walls(dusted lightly with grime), cement floors and kopitiam chairs from the 80's. There was a certain period of time when we weren't allowed to bring in our bottles,

That was just...oh wow, that was about 8 months ago already. Almost an entire year.

Nostalgia hits at the weirdest of moments.

Also, I'm getting wary of people asking me how the chinese test went. Social conventions dictate that I should probably moan about how difficult it was when really a more accurate response would be "hahahahaha". At the moment I compromise by going "Do you really want to know?", smiling mysteriously(as I possibly can) and then tip toeing away.

Next semester,I'm taking Legal Studies.

EDIT/
May the internet never cease to amuse

"I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen — I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.
I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it." She stopped, out of breath.- Sam, American Gods

I like judging you. Really I do.

I construct a whole long complicated domino maze (in my head, complete with whirring devices of 'What if' windmills and hypothetical extreme dead ends.Like mini golf,really, with possibilities ) of reactions and then I wait.

Sometimes they fall.

Then, I act wonderfully surprised that they do.

HAHA EXAMS.

Another Friday, another strange strange conversation which I participate in all the while feeling weirdly detached and very there.

This time, I'm vaguely talking about getting hazed, as if I know what I'm talking about anyway.

These days has been dazzling dazzling sunshine, early evenings and stupidly walking under the stars (because I could but really shouldn't)

There is a tree nearby which has sap oozing out of it. I think it could be amber. Give or take another 1000 years.

Tomorrow, there will be theatre fun and filming!

I forgot who introduced e.e cummings to me.

Poetry has always been so obscure and difficult to understand because it's always up for interpretation but then there are always those interpretations that earn somewhat contemptuous stares.

Then sometimes, it's just easier to be lost in the cadence of words.

Lovely lovely clouds.

hey, let me type a block of text it seems like i haven't done that in ages.

school is exhausting. i am currently pretending everything is a figment of my imagination because it's easier to deal that way.

i have a pretty good imagination.

it seems so strange to float through the school and see people and talk to them and laugh and respond. somehow they don't seem solid to me. what's that word again?

right, transient. everything, everyone feels transient.

wish i had time to put all this into pretty little cryptic descriptions and witty repertoires (something that i am always sorely lacking it seems) but hey no capslock in sight.[revolutionary]

oh oh and i think i look distressed very well. i wonder if the teachers get annoyed and if it's alright to screw with them this way.

today was alright, tomorrow may be better(well it's sun shiny anyway).

i haz greener grass. tis true.

You forget it in people

credits: sxc.hu, my life

Brb, bbs the noise inside is getting a little too much.

I am being constantly surprised by people.

I don't know if it's because I judge too quickly or because the entire shtick is a conspiracy to undermine everything I have ever known.

Or maybe, it's time to relearn, reprogram.

EVERYTHING.

Change is exhausting.

In which there is more Girly Conversations

It's cold today. The sort of cold that cling to your socks and hair in a weary wet way.

"So are you still out of practice?"

"Not really."

"You still don't like anyone?"

Short pause as the entire male population at large is contemplated.

"Nah, really can't be bothered."

In which I am taught an important lesson by a 10-year-old

Funny how the trait of smart arsness can reveal it self at such a tender age.

Of course, the most convenient way to be properly humbled is to take up a tutoring job which I have done so upon recommendation.

Thus,

"...anti-oxidants are good for you, like nuts such as almonds."

"Almonds?"

"Yeah."

"It's a-monds, not almonds.The 'L' is silent."

And to round it off, an eye-roll.


Aren't kids just precious.

In which I start to lose facets of my personality

It's either the fact that I'm really bad at adapting or the world is just throwing me off-kilter.

I don't feel me anymore, which is slightly worrying.

Maybe it's dormant neurotic tendencies showing up again.

Or maybe it's the shoes.

In which I actually talk about school

The walls of my locker room used to be...this white that has turned mustard yellow.

Then they painted them aqua blue.

Lessons are underway again and being awesome.

Am trying to wish away self-destructive behaviour. Not really helping. Must wish harder.

Must also stop making statements that invites the initiation of Murphy's Law.("I will never get angry" "This isn't that difficult." "Of course I can finish this biology paper by tomorrow")

In which I am too tired to think

* *

IT'S HERE




They updated the Harry Potter Theme to epic drumming. Is awesome but I much prefer the one that tinkled.

The Inferi looks suspiciously like Gollum. Snape is perfect, Dumbledore not so much.

Is is just me or does Daniel look worse with every film?

JULY 15TH!

Damn, this Harry Potter commitment just drags on.

(12:48 AM) °o. bev .o°:	on holidays now shall hone maths skill and colour wadrobe and dominate world!
(12:48 AM)	yinyee (: feels like insomnia has changed his/her personal message to "0909! screwed"
(12:48 AM) yinyee (::	YAY!
(12:48 AM) °o. bev .o°:	colour coordinate*
(12:48 AM) yinyee (::	and pass that driving test!
(12:48 AM) °o. bev .o°:	I WILL BECAUSE I AM COOL
(12:49 AM) yinyee (::	yeah...
(12:49 AM) °o. bev .o°:	plus it's multiple choice

Wow, do I need to get a life.

Some Changes:

• It gets dark at 5.30pm now
• Daylight Savings: Best. Idea. Ever. Also, I am now only 2 hours ahead of you guys back in Singapore.
• Holidays! HAR HAR
• Actually, I have no idea why I'm taking a break because school has not moulded itself to hell on earth. Yet.
• Sushi here is surprisingly tasty.

I have not been blogging much following failure to capture an Australian audience. I have thus sunk into new lows of Facebook voyeurism. Yeah, I know everything about your secret depression unmasked by your handwr2iting and that you lied to me about your real name. I know about the ten kids you are going to have but couldn't because you died last year, drowning in a pool of lemonade.

In other news, I did pass that driving test so I now have a Learner's Permit.

Driving with your family is always fun.

Dad:Keep left. Keep left LEFT! You are not in America

Mom:-reproachfully-Don't shout at her.

Sister: -serenely- Look, those people are laughing at you.

It is now cold.

Feel my toes.

All sorts of nostalgic awesome.

Holidays!

...and the problem with reflections is that they only show what is behind you.

In which the big question in life is asked

"Why doesn't Coles sell M&Ms?"


In which morning cheeriness is squashed

From somewhere above the class(where I like to think of as a potions dungeons because it smells like gym socks and other bodily excretions all mingled and boiled in a cauldron of bad aftertaste. This may be entirely irrelevant or relevant to the continuation of the sentence but I just want you to know that there are classrooms underground.) there is singing.

"It's a beautiful morning and... fine don't sing a long then."

"Okay, I won't."


In which bad jokes are an international phenomenon

"What is the worst part of global warming?"

"Don't know."

"The atmosphere!"

-insert imaginary cymbals here-

In which maths is proven to be boring. Again.

The minute hand finally moves.

"Are you done?"

"You just set me the question two minutes ago."

"Well, work faster."

The clock ticks.

"Are you done now?"

"NO."

Pause.

"My god, teaching maths is just as boring as doing maths."

In which there is ~*pRoN*~



Save your children!

In which there is a whole host of movies that will be awesome













I vaguely remember a book but then the amazingness of the poster distracted me.

















....

I am tired.

In which there is a resolution to be a little bit happier next week

What I've learnt

Resource:sxc.hu,lemony snicket,photoshop cs

The Dora Transformation

Before

After

THOSE ARE NOT SENSIBLE EXPLORING SHOES DAMNNIT.

One day when I'm crazy enough, I will walk up to someone I don't know and ask them about their non-existent pet turtle.

ThisisthebestideaeverWISE

DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO WHEN WE FINISH OUR A LEVELS/V.C.E/WHATEVER EXAMS THAT WOULD SECURE OUR FUTURE?

With the economic recession and no light at the end this dark,dark dark tunnel, The renting cost of castles in Ireland has fallen dramatically due to a low demand and oversupply(this is due to the fact the winds haven't done enough of knocking castles down. Plus, the walls are starting to ooze green slime.)

We should rent a castle and battle fairies,unicorns,zombies,hormones and the apocalypse while doing a cross cultural event of sorts.

IS THAT NOT THE BEST IDEA EVER.

SomethingnormalWISE

School is fun.

Must remember to stop being geeky and replying that the best part of school is lessons.

It is simply not done.

MorecultureschockWISE

To Bag: Is to make fun of

To Wag:To pon

New lingo that I'm slowly picking up but not using because let's face it, I never did pick up the Singapore one either. This has attracted flak from the general public.

Me:What is our attire for tomorrow?

The General Public:-is agahst- You don't say attire. Attire is so formal! You can say what are we wearing tomorrow.

Have also picked up a habit of asking "How was your weekend." and then actually answering the same question (so far my answers have been nothing spectacular)

This used to be a rhetorical question, asked with a wry smile and an ironic gleam.
A satisfactory reply would have been an eyeroll and then "Did you finish the chemistry/biology/math homework?"

No,nothing makes sense anymore.

Beingpartoftheminorityracewise

Me:...but it's genetically impossible for Asians to have blue eyes!

Sri Lankan Dude:Isn't that being racist to your own race?

And during class

Teacher:-holding up a piece of good work-...and you have to put in that much effort to get a good grade.

Asian Dude:What grade did he get?

Teacher:An A+

Asian Dude:That's like an Asian A.

Reflectionwise

"Does growing old daunt you?"

An innocent (or not so, you can never tell) question thrown to the middle-ager but all the same, there is never quite a time as being 16-years old.

Not quite jaded, still room for mistakes. Standing on the cusp of adult-hood, leaning over but not falling in. There is still purpose in rebellion even for the most frivolous of reasons (no, I'm not putting the hair out of my eye.)

Everything is intensified, overblown and OMG-worthy. Emotions explode implode, sideways,slantways and always.

"想当年..."

No one has the same story of youth(unless you're a Meg Cabot novel.).

Otherwise

While it is always best to believe in yourself, a little help from others can be a huge blessing
-Iroh 2.15 'The Tales of Ba Sing Seh"

I think there was something here about how photographs should come in photo frame sizes. Something else about crying girls,social situations so fraught with complications that it has shown convincing evidence that everyone involved is a trained to be a ninja (of stealth and such), unrequited love, perpetual amusement, being asian and simply being.

Oh and the fact that having a proper conversation is so difficult, I wish I did pick up some of those "HOW TO IMPRESS PEOPLE ON YOUR FIRST DAY" books. Not that it would help anyway but perhaps I could have chucked it at someone as a form of introduction.

So, 6 weeks on and I still miss everybody.

Let us Pray

Keep your eyes wide open and stride into the sunlight.

"So, do you like anyone?"

It's 4.30pm. The school is strangely silent.

Strange because I've never known a school that emptied out before 6pm.

Stranger because I am having a first really girly girl conversation with a girl from Dandenong('And no. We do not have sex on toilets in Dandenong.' she confides) that stems from being in a co-ed school.

"Er," I say, treading into unfamiliar territory, "No?"

She is skeptical. "Really? I won't tell anyone if you tell."

"I was in a girl school for 10 years," I say defensively.

"I'm kinda..." fishing around for the right phrases to describe a total lack of social communication with boys when I realised there were none. "Out of practice."I finished lamely

Skepticism melts into a mixture of pity and amusement. "Out of practice?"

I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"Well, dating is the Australian past time," she pauses, "Well not the Australian past time but it's fun."

Incredulous looks all round

She merely shrugs,"You'll see.There is nothing to do on weekends."

Biology Class(some weeks ago)

Random Guy beside me is Random: Did you know that the male angler fish bites into a female angler fish and fuses with it when they are ready to mate?

Rest of the Class: Wtf?

Random Guy beside me: Yeah, it releases enzymes to digest the skin of the female angler fish and fuses with it.

Me:Where the hell do you get this stuff?

I keep wanting to blog properly (with photoshop and everything) but I can't seem to find the time to work on it because of all the other things that have has been happening.

So, onwards to categorizing.

Schoolwise
Because everyone else is doing it.

Here are the subjects I'm taking: English, Math,Chinese,Biology,Media ,Economics.

I am basically been bamboozled by new things.

The campus is single storied so you move from block to block for class.

I have a yellow locker.

I have Media in a TV studio which is v.cool.

Teacherswise

Teachers are awesome.

First day of school and my Chinese teacher gave sweets if you answered correctly, the English teacher launched into a vivid description of how she would squish a student who was not listening like a bug and the Media teacher had us draw teddy bears.(she is also deaf in one ear and thus has the world perfect reason as to why only one person should talk in her presence)

Peoplewise

Suffered from severe hair envy. As such, uttered the immortal line of "Is that your natural hair colour?"

Lots of happy shiny people. I want to be happy shiny too but massive fails with tendency to end every alternate sentence with "wow".

Met a cool girl from Shang Hai who has come to Austalia to escape the China school system. Another girl who has ridiculously straight hair (WHY DOESN'T MINE DO THAT) who seems so far to be the epitome of school spirit. She also likes to play MMORPG which seems to be particularly popular because some of the most frequent questions I face after people realise I'm from Singapore is "Do you play WoW?" oh that and "Whereabouts in China?"

Boys are strange but fun in a class.

Economics(a discussion on how eating less meat would save lives in underdeveloped country)

Teacher: So would you cut down on meat intake because might save your friend's life -insert name here-

Boy at the back of the class:-considering- No, because he's just a statistic to me.

Yeah.

Settlinginwise
All the boxes are finally unpacked.

HUZZAH!

Weatherwise
If summer is raging temperatures of 45 degrees and then lows of 19 degrees I don't really want to know what Winter brings.

Otherwise

Taken from:Childhood Flames

This picture has inspired me to grow out my hair because everyone deserves effortless chic.

Onward hair!