Listen:
In case you can't follow here are the words :
Is this thing on?
What??
What do you mean i'm on liive!!!!!
Shit!!!!!????
Ladies and gentleman of the Class
of Monkeys...
Wear flowers...
If I could offer you only one tip
for the future..flowers would be it. Of course, there are other things that can
be put onto your head, but flowers would be nice... since they are probably non
lethal.. and you can help disperse the seeds on your way ..like how i will
dispense this advice now...
Youth,is often wasted on the young.
Of course, there is no such thing. If you dont squander it now, you will never
grow old and wise enough to utter those words...
Worry about the future.
Do something about it. Hug trees, dance the conga and dont talk so much. You’re
contributing too much carbon dioxide...
Do one thing every day that
annoys others.
Skip..
Learn how to fold paper hearts. They will
come in handy on valentines day...
Eeaaat...
Dont waste time on
trying to convince fan girls that their idol is full of fluff. It is a battle
you have lost before you have even began...
Try ,and ,lick your elbow.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how....
Dont send scented love
letters. Dont send clichéd messages either. And dont divorce with someone over
sms...
Yawn..
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want
to do with your life. Look at Harry Potter, he knows what’s going to happen and
what he has to do in his life...
Look at his remaining options...
Drink vitamins, study the nutrition pyramid. If you want to go on a
diet,stick to it....
Maybe the palm lines on your hand are complicated.
Maybe they tell you your husbands going to be really cute, maybe they dont...
You may have hordes of children or maybe you will stay a spinster for life. .It
doesnt matter..We can always do further palm reading during assembly ,and who
believes in all those lines anyway....
Dont get parasites. Wash your
hands while singing Happy Birthday and quit rubbing your eyes that much...
Dance, even though you look like a cardboard monkey while doing it...
Make a cardboard monkey and dance the salsa with it....
Read
beauty magazines. Scrawl on them and act like an emo youth while you are at
it....
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you
should hold on.
Understand that enemies are a nice past time But do not
overdo it. They could control your life....
Be nice to geeks, they will
probably be your future boss....
Live in Laalaaland once. Leave before
you turn into a nonsensical teletubby...
Day dream ...
Accept
certain inalienable truths...PowerPoint was invented to torture you. Ipods are
cool. The moral of snow white is never eat apples.
Pink is sin.
Pink
is outlawed. Although angst stems from sin, pink is sinful. Are we shiny happy
people? No we are not.
Burn the abomination at sight!!
Do not eat
burnt toast..
Do not mess with people's minds...It will only mess up
yours...
Do not act like spoilt children and squabble over little
things...
Act like a spoilt adult and bring things to court....
Advice is over rated and everything you hear here is 0.00000000000001
percent true...
But trust me on this....
My voice sounds
weeeeiiiiiirrrrrd!?
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