Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
Cue laughter?
I think not.
I love school because it fills up time.I hate school for exactly the same reason.
The more [X]'s the dumber you are. 18 or lower means you're not stupid.]
[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
[ ] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[ ] You have jumped out/off of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
So far: 2
[ ] You have ran into a tree/bush.
[ ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[x] You have tried to lick your elbow.
[ ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
[ ] You just tried to sing them.
So far: 3
[x] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[x] You have choked on your own spit.
[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
[x] You've never seen the Matrix.
[ ] You type only with two fingers.
So far: 6
[ ] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.
[ ] You've fallen asleep in class
[ ] If someone says "fart" you laugh
So far: 7
[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[x] You told a story and forgot what you were talking about
[x] People are often shaking their heads and walk away from you
[ ] You are often told to use your "inside voice".
[x] you use your fingers to do simple math.
So far: 11
[ ] You have eaten a bug
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it
[ ] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand
So far: 13
[ ] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't.
[ ] You break a lot of things.
So far: 13
[ ]Your friends know not to use big words around you
[ ] You tilt your head when you're confused
[ ] You have fallen out of your chair before
So far: 13
[x]When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling/wall
[x] The word "umm" is used many times a day.
So far: 15
Total:15
I always suspected i was as clever as a primate.Seems that my theory was correct.
I have been writing about zombies when i should be writing about Inspiration and Rewiring Heartlands.(kinda weird .wires inspire me to write about Frankenstein)
“I hate zombie season” I told Bob
“ I know.” He said sympathetically.
“You can’t go around the whole place without running over someone’s leg or hand or…”
“Ear?” he supplied helpfully.
“Ear.”
“The worst part is the golden ringed people from up there” I point ominously heaven-ward, “Think it’s a novelty.”
“No!” Bob said outraged.
“Yes,” I said.
That is about as funny as a wet sponge.
I think i shall continue with it.
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